


The Part of Parenting Nobody Tells You

by NoisyNoiverns



Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Reapers, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Movie Night, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 03:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11327298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoisyNoiverns/pseuds/NoisyNoiverns
Summary: No-Reapers AU. Desolas and Abrudas spend some quiet time together after putting their kids to bed.





	The Part of Parenting Nobody Tells You

**Author's Note:**

> this is pure self-indulgent nonsense tb totally h. valis is abrudas, as per usual

Valis groaned as she lumbered back into the living room, eyes half-lidded. “I long for the day that child goes to bed when she’s told.”

Desolas chuckled, subvocals sympathetic, and lifted a hand to reach for her. “She’s only three, she’ll learn.”

She grasped his fingers loosely and allowed him to guide her around the couch. “Not soon enough. At least the baby sleeps more often than not.”

“To be fair, _he’s_ only two and a half months.” Desolas shifted in his seat, making room for her. “We only have so much time left before he wakes up.”

She whined and flopped down, hauling her legs up onto the couch beside her and leaning against his side. “Don’t remind me. Then I’ll have _three_ little chirpers trying to escape bedtime. Thank the spirits Taniria just stays in bed and uses her omni-tool under the covers.”

Desolas snorted, and she closed her eyes as he nuzzled the top of her head. “You say that like it’ll just be you chasing them down.”

She grunted and nestled herself between his torso and the back of the couch, draping an arm over his waist. “Hey, we agreed the chasing is _your_ job. _I_ block their path and scoop them up once you corner them between us.”

“Hey, if the system works.” He chuckled and put an arm around her shoulders, squeezing gently. “How hard did she fight you tonight?”

“Mm.” She rubbed her face against his keel with a low purr. “Remember that time Taniria clawed my throat trying to escape, and the noise I made was so loud and so in pain, she didn’t fight either of us for two months, she was so scared and ashamed?”

“That bad?”

“Almost.” She tugged on his thigh, and he obligingly moved his legs so they made a barrier between her and the edge of the couch. Much more comfortable. “She got my mandible.”

Desolas sucked in a breath in sympathy. “Ouch. Would it make you feel better if I told you the entire four-vid Blasto set, the good ones from I think maybe forty years ago? _Just_ made available for streaming.”

She paused in her nesting, then turned her head up to look at him. “You’re kidding. Those _never_ get streamed. I can’t even find an _OSD set_ for a reasonable price.”

His mandibles went up and out in a wide, toothy grin down at her, and he waggled the remote in the air. “Limited time offer. Some pop culture group on the extranet got their talons chipped over how keeping the vids so hard to get was unfair, so the publishers agreed to make them available for one month a year.”

She eyed him, lowering one mandible and both brow plates. “We’re too old and tired to do all-night vid marathons like we used to, hotshot.”

“Oh, I know.” He squeezed her shoulder affectionately. “I doubt we’ll even make it through the first one before we pass out. But there’s just enough weekend nights in a month for us to watch, what, one a weekend? And have one to spare, just in case.”

“So, a weekly Blasto night, is what you’re saying.”

“Exactly.”

She considered, then hummed low and moved her head to rest against the lip of his cowl. “You really know how to sweet-talk a girl, you know that?”

He laughed and turned on the vidscreen. “We’ve known each other for spirits know how long. If I hadn’t picked up a few tricks by now, I’d have no business being married to you.”

She snorted, then purred and snuggled a little closer. “You know, I heard they’re doing a Blasto reboot?”

“Really?” Desolas flicked his mandibles as he trawled the streaming options. “I want to ask ‘already?’, but I guess forty years is a pretty acceptable length between reboots.”

“Stop saying forty years, you’re making me feel old,” she mock-whined, subvocals humming affection and amusement. “But yeah, I guess the studio got tired of banking on video games and comics and junk, wanted to go back to the vids. They’re calling it _Blasto: the Jellyfish Stings,_ or something like that.” She thought for a moment, then _harrumph_ ed and frowned. “That’s all I remember, though. Give me a second to look it up.”

“Suit yourself.”

They fell into companionable silence as Desolas hunted down the right vid and Valis pulled up her omni-tool. It took a bit of digging (thank the spirits for browser history), but after a minute, she chirped triumphantly. “Here it is. It’s slated to begin production in a couple years, projected release date in about nine years.”

Desolas whistled through his maxillary plates. “That’s a long production time. What, are they building their own _dreadnought_ for it? Here we go, found it.”

She snorted and put her omni-tool away, then settled back against her mate. “Who knows? Vid producers all think they’re the next big name, maybe demanding more time up front is the new diva director move.” She shook her head slightly, then nosed at the edge of his cowl. “You’ll have to help me with the more complex scenes.”

“Already planned on it.” He nuzzled the top of her head. “Figured you wouldn’t want to bother with your glasses.”

She huffed, blinking to try to focus her eyes as the title card appeared. “I’m not old enough for glasses yet. That spirits-forsaken rock might’ve ruined my peripherals, but what I _can_ see works just fine. Damn optometrists…”

Desolas chuckled and leaned back, squirming to stretch out and pull her more on top of him. “Whatever you say, babe.”

She grumbled to herself a bit more, then gave a contented little sigh and wriggled her way up so her head rested on his neck. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the opening score wash over her and mingle with Desolas’s breathing and the muffled cacophony of Cipritine at night beyond the windows. She couldn’t hear them, but she knew in her bones that just out of range, four more bodies breathed peacefully in their sleep, a thought she’d never thought would be comforting until the first one had lain cradled in her arms.

She opened her eyes again and sighed, slow and quiet. “You know the really terrible thing about kids, though?” she mumbled to the bottom of Desolas’s jaw.

He only grunted, but it was a questioning grunt, inviting her to continue, so she did. “The worst thing about them is that I keep alternating between ‘why did we have _four’_ and ‘let’s make it five.’”

Desolas stayed quiet for a moment, then chuckled quietly. “I know _exactly_ what you mean.”

**Author's Note:**

> for perspective at this point in the timeline a "projected release date in about nine years" puts blasto right around the right time for me2, give or take a few years (let's not kid ourselves here, definitely gets delayed at least a year or two...)


End file.
